


Dreaming in Sync

by xanithofdragons



Category: Natsume Yuujinchou | Natsume's Book of Friends
Genre: Character Study, Introspection, M/M, Mutual Pining, Watching Someone Sleep
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-16
Updated: 2018-05-16
Packaged: 2019-05-07 23:55:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14682168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xanithofdragons/pseuds/xanithofdragons
Summary: Tanuma and Natsume watch each other sleep.





	Dreaming in Sync

Tanuma and Natsume sat next to each other reading at a table in Tanuma's house. Tanuma could see from the corner of his eye that Natsume was leaning forward on the table, standing up the book before his face to read. Over time, Natsume's book fell forward. Tanuma let his own book fall as he looked at Natsume.

Natsume's eyes were closed, and his breathing was deep. Probably he had fallen asleep. Tanuma wondered if Natsume was tired from dealings with yokai. Would he be able to ask today? Lately Natsume had gotten more comfortable telling him stories about the yokai he met, but Tanuma couldn't be sure of what stories he wasn't telling him.

A few strands of Natsume's silvery hair fell into his face. Tanuma wanted to touch them, wanted to run his hands through Natsume's hair, but he knew he shouldn't. Not when Natsume was asleep. Not without asking. Not when their relationship was “friends” rather than what Tanuma secretly wanted it to be.

Tanuma was jealous of Nyanko-Sensei sometimes. Tanuma probably shouldn't be wishing to be a cat (or a cat-like yokai for that matter), but Nyanko-sensei got to be held in Natsume's arms and sleep next to Natsume in his bed. He knew Natsume bathed him too, and thought that at least he had gotten to go into an onsen together with Natsume, although they hadn't been alone.

Tanuma stopped himself. His thoughts were going in a dangerous direction when Natsume was right next to him. He didn't want Natsume to wake up to find him flustered or worse. He couldn't stop himself from staring at Natsume's sleeping figure, though. When Natsume started to wake up, Tanuma quickly turned to the book in his hands to pretend like he hadn't been just watching him sleep.

“Sorry for falling asleep,” Natsume said as he sat up.

“It's okay.” The question burned on the tip of Tanuma's tongue.

“A yokai came to see me at my house late last night.” Natsume answered the question without being asked this time, and Tanuma felt a warmth spread through his chest.

-

Natsume and Tanuma sat outside in the school grounds eating lunch together. They chatted softly until Tanuma's voice started to drift off. Natsume looked to his side to find that Tanuma had fallen asleep under the warm sun. Tanuma looked so peaceful that Natsume almost wanted to fall asleep next to him, but he figured one of them needed to stay awake so they didn't miss their next classes. Natsume contented himself with looking at Tanuma.

There were times, brief moments, when Natsume wished Tanuma _could_ some of the same things he could see. He wanted to share more, sometimes everything, he thought, with Tanuma, and he did try to share some of what only he could see with words. He felt guilty immediately when those thoughts came up, though. He shouldn't wish his own pain on anyone else, although he admitted it wasn't bad all the time seeing yokai. Besides, it was already a lot to have a friend who listened to him and felt even a little bit of what he felt. Who was he to wish for more? And how much more he really wished for.

Natsume let his eyes roam, looking at Tanuma's arms, visible in the short-sleeved summer uniform shirt, his neck, his face, his lips. Kitamoto and Nishimura said they were alike, quiet, reserved, pale, thin. There weren't a lot of boys their age who were bulkier yet, only some of the ones who did sports. Natsume noticed these things, silently, in a way most other boys probably did not. Still, although there were times he liked looking at those other boys bodies, he liked looking at Tanuma the best. He noticed his body, his hair, his eyes. He noticed the way Tanuma had slowly put on more weight in the time they had known each other, the way he had started to look healthier overall.

Natsume wondered if he looked any healthier to Tanuma, if Tanuma noticed him at all, and thought that at the very least, Tanuma probably didn't look at him in the same way Natsume looked at Tanuma. Natsume felt want when he looked at Tanuma, want to touch him and hold him and kiss him.

Tanuma stirred. Natsume was so lost in thought he didn't even look away from Tanuma to try and hide the way he had watched Tanuma sleep.

“Did I fall asleep?” Tanuma seemed not to notice his staring. He stretched and Natsume resisted the urge to watch for the way his muscles moved.

“Yeah,” Natsume answered. “You weren't asleep for long, though.”

“Still, we should probably get back to our classes soon.” Tanuma finished stretching. “It's too bad. I wish we could've talked longer.”

“Yeah, me too.” Natsume smiled, happy for all the times in the future they'd be able to talk more.


End file.
